Someone began a rumor about me and those guys at the party a couple of months ago. Apparently I did some inappropriate stuff with them and now I am a Bug Eye, emo, and some filthy words you can probably guess. I can honestly say that I arrived at the party, I got hammered and then Violet dragged me home and I wrote a drunken post I should probably delete. I don't know what to do this time around because not even Dad throwing someone against a wall will stop it, especially since we don't know who started it.
Violet is worried about me and I don't know what to tell her.
My wrist scarred from the one time I cut myself a few months ago, and people notice that too.
I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am.
The monsters that lurk inside these seemingly ordinary people are rotten. They have taken everything from me. My family, my home, my well being and they have stripped me of my identity. I am just a series of labels accumulated over the past eighteen months and nothing more. These labels are what I am defined as. These monsters have peeled me away. I am like a house. First they took my paint, then my insulation, then my roof. I was stripped back to a frame, but because the frame had no shelter it rotted away. I am just a concrete paving where something used to be. I am nothing more, and I can never be anything more because people have done this to me. My own kind.
I want to keep this short because right now I am not in the right head space. If I were being truly honest, I would admit how low I have been lately. I'm scared for myself, but there is nobody I can reach out to. There has been no point where I have actually felt this way before, but we really are all alone in this world. I am still that tree, placed in the middle of a field with nothing but grass. I am by myself, and no one else is reaching out to me.
I am sorry if I don't post for a while because I need some time to think. I hope you can understand.
Farewell, for now.
-Louise.
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